THE GUARDIAN

As you may not know, I used to write songs , it was mainly in Hebrew but I wrote in Russian and English too
I haven't wrote quite a long time, but here is the "newest" poem in English.

THE GUARDIAN

I have died and no one knows
I have left my tragic post
Who will guard you now my child ?
Who will be there by your side ?

I have left to no return
But my feelings still hold strong
Can you see this brighting light ?
It will come for you one night

I have been there when you died
I'm the one who was your guide
You were killed by my own hands
Couldn't guard you from your friends.


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A little psycho poem I must say, but they all like that...well most of them
If you like it let me know, if you don't, well...off you go ;)

Living on Love - The Messenger

My mom read a book in Russian called "Living on Love" and that cough my attention, the next day I've downloaded legally the full book in English (I read better and faster in English) and it is interesting.
In 4 days I've finished reading the book and it has some amazing things.

First it tells you how to win money on lotteries just that you continue reading and come to the really good stuff.
Then is tells you how to always feel like you did when you felt in love, and how to send love to the people around you, be it your children, wife, friends, pets everyone.

Love can do amazing things (and no I'm not talking about sex ;)).
I REALLY recommend you to read this book, it's free to download and read
The file is in .doc but you can convert it to .pdf with Open Office like I did.
The writer has several more books which I haven't read yet, and they are also free to download.

Please do yourselves a favor and read it to the last page.

Official site : http://www.livingonlove.com/
Download : http://lovebook2.tripod.com/

To know or not to know, this is the question.

I still ask myself, what do I really want : to know or not to know
I know that this sounds like a stupid question but I'll give you some examples.

You have a person that you love and she/he cheats on you, if you know that it will probably break your heart, but if you won't know about it you will still be happy.
Or here's another example.
I have a cat that we had to castrate due to the fact that I live on the 3rd floor and if he happen to see a female cat in his regular condition, he would have jumped to his death.
So our cat never mated and he doesn't know a better life then now.
But does he suffers ? NO, he lives a very happy life.

Look at the gliders, they are very happy, not knowing their condition.
They love everyone, the are not capable of hating.
We see them as incomplete human beings, but do they see themselves like that ? NO.

Could you knowingly accept what you cannot change or would you rather not know and stay happy ?

To know or not to know, this is the question.

Give me a memento.

Today I've seen one of the greatest movies ever for the 3rd time (I think), this movie called memento.
This movie is one of the most complicated movies ever, if you saw it once you have to see it again to understand more.
For those of you who haven't seen it yet it's about a guy who lost his short memory when robbers came to his house and attacked his wife.
After that incident he needed to make himself a reason to live for.
He finds the man who attacked him and kills him, but then he realizes that if he leave it like this he will have nothing to live for, so he changes some details about his killer to find him again and kill him again.
He needs to make something to live for.
The greatness of this movie is that it filmed backwards, making you experience the short memory loss.
You actually forget what happened 5 minutes ago if you don't pay attention.

Now, what am I telling you this for ?
well...
I see this movie and I realize that I have nothing to live for (it doesn't mean that I want to take my own life, but if a roaming truck will "ride" on me...that's a different story ;)).
Anyway , except for my family I didn't receive one call yesterday for my birthday.
None except my family called me to congratulate me for my birthday.
I have no real friends, I have no ambitions, and if I'll die - I won't be remembered by anyone except my family.
I came to a situation that I want to forget everything that happened from my day of birth till today.
I want to forget all the people I knew all the things I've done BUT I don't want to be with a short memory loss - that's really sucks.
I want to start over from a blank page and my past is hunting me.
Sometimes I want to go to the past and change things, but as the "Alice" book/movie says "I can't go/change the past - I was a different person there".
So I want the next best thing.
Loose my memory and start from the start.

Now were was I ? I can't recall ;)

A thought for the night.

It's about 1 AM in Israel so I'll leave you with a thought for the night.
Ever thought about when you wash your glass with water, you use much more water to wash the glass, then the water you drunk from the glass ?

It does have other meanings.
It cost you a hell of a lot more to clean your mess, then to make it.

And that my friends, is the waste of the world.
Think about it and goodnight.

Welcome to my place, my place - your place !

Today is my 24th birthday, and I've decided to try out blogging.
I really don't get those people who read other peoples blogs unless they have some good and useful information…but reading about other peoples lives? -- is that really interesting? I don’t know, not much interest for me there.
But I want to check it out (experience), I will write - you will read (and hopefully reply too).

So let's begin, shall we?

My name is Maxim (but you can call me Max ;), hell...there are even people who call me Jesus because they think I look like him, but there is no living human who seen Jesus to describe his looks so you can't really tell).
I live in Israel and almost everything interests me.

I don't like celebrating birthdays, too much phone calls to accept with the very same wishes that never come true.
Sometimes I feel that the person who calls me is obligated to do so and I don't want to push them back, I just let them spill their words and go on with it.

A wise person once said that you can have 10000 buddies in your life, but to have one friend is a privilege, I'm still waiting for that one friend.
You don't know for sure who is your friend and if he will be there in times of trouble.

I had dozens of buddies and still have many more, but none to call a "friend".
This is very sad in my opinion; 3 years in the army gave me nothing it terms of a real friend. Oh yeah, I met people there, I acquired many buddies but I left empty handed.

In my times in the army I served as an ambulance driver and I had a lot of free time to do what I want, I wrote about 100 songs in 3 years -- isn't bad I think, but then I returned home and didn't write a new song since (well maybe 2-3 new songs but it doesn't come close to 100 songs).
They’re mostly written in Hebrew but I have some in English and Russian too (yep, I speak 3 languages).

So that's it for today, goodbye and I hope that I will be here soon to spill more of my thoughts.