Give me a memento.

Today I've seen one of the greatest movies ever for the 3rd time (I think), this movie called memento.
This movie is one of the most complicated movies ever, if you saw it once you have to see it again to understand more.
For those of you who haven't seen it yet it's about a guy who lost his short memory when robbers came to his house and attacked his wife.
After that incident he needed to make himself a reason to live for.
He finds the man who attacked him and kills him, but then he realizes that if he leave it like this he will have nothing to live for, so he changes some details about his killer to find him again and kill him again.
He needs to make something to live for.
The greatness of this movie is that it filmed backwards, making you experience the short memory loss.
You actually forget what happened 5 minutes ago if you don't pay attention.

Now, what am I telling you this for ?
well...
I see this movie and I realize that I have nothing to live for (it doesn't mean that I want to take my own life, but if a roaming truck will "ride" on me...that's a different story ;)).
Anyway , except for my family I didn't receive one call yesterday for my birthday.
None except my family called me to congratulate me for my birthday.
I have no real friends, I have no ambitions, and if I'll die - I won't be remembered by anyone except my family.
I came to a situation that I want to forget everything that happened from my day of birth till today.
I want to forget all the people I knew all the things I've done BUT I don't want to be with a short memory loss - that's really sucks.
I want to start over from a blank page and my past is hunting me.
Sometimes I want to go to the past and change things, but as the "Alice" book/movie says "I can't go/change the past - I was a different person there".
So I want the next best thing.
Loose my memory and start from the start.

Now were was I ? I can't recall ;)